Spinning

I'm not sure when it happened. Maybe the shift was subtle, or maybe it was like pulling off a bandage. But, somewhere along the way things in our country changed drastically. All of a sudden, right is wrong and wrong is right. And I am constantly surprised at who is on what side. Nothing is constant anymore (except, of course for God and His Word), everything is evolving and unpredictable. I think there are alot of factors involved in the shift...churches who don't preach the Word of God anymore (they're too busy entertaining everyone and keeping everyone feeling warm and fuzzy), social media spurring on debate and giving everyone a virtual sounding board (making us feel "connected" with one another and completely isolated at the same time), parents not raising their children and allowing daycares and school systems to determine what their children's values will be, the constant bombardment within the god of entertainment of evil things, and a government who has completely spiraled out of control and left us longing for true leadership. But, here we are, and I am exhausted. I want off of this carnival ride called American Culture. I guess I am longing for my Heavenly Home these days...where all is right and good. Where life makes sense. Because frankly, it doesn't make much sense to me right now. I'm not sure why there is any debate at all surrounding ending the life of a human being that God breathed into life. How is that even possible? Of all the things to choose sides on, of all the things to "go to the gallows" over, this is what you are going to pick? Killing a precious human life? Really? And now there's yet another thrust to end the traditional definition of marriage. The people have voted time and time again...this is not what the majority of Americans want, yet here we are. And the church, for fear of offending anyone and appearing "hateful" is either silent, or burying what God says in His Word under so many suffocating blankets of "love." I am not for hate. I believe in loving others. It is what the Word of God tells us to do, so that is what we should do. Yet, can we deny that the Bible states that homosexuality is clearly wrong? And I don't want any scriptural acrobatics done to show me I am wrong. I have learned in my life that the truth is always simple. If God wanted us to understand something, he wouldn't make it complicated or convoluted. I'm tired of what is going on around me...the constant struggle to figure out where I stand in this tsunami of change. I want the "good old days" again...maybe they were articifically contrived, but they felt good to me. I was small, and I had my mom and dad and brother who loved me...I felt safe and secure, and didn't have to think about much beyond my world of Barbie dolls. And I didn't have to think about how on Earth I am going to raise my three boys to fear God, and protect them from all that is going on around them. I want them to have that same world of safety and security, but I'm not sure if it's even possible. God Help Us.

The God who Moves

Shortly after Grayson was born, I went through a time of anxiety related to SIDS. I was so worried about finding him gone in his crib that I could hardly sleep at night. The anxiety seeped into my daily life, and I found myself getting anxious over other things too, but I knew the basis of it came from the worries I had over my Grayson. I have always tended to be a worry-wart when it comes to my children, but this fear was almost debilitating. When Grayson was diagnosed with a hole in his heart a few weeks after his birth, my anxiety intensified. I prayed, I knew my children were all in His hands, but I needed to find a tangible way to sleep at night. That is when I found the Angelcare monitor after doing a search online. This wonderful invention is a sensor pad that you place underneath the baby's mattress and will go off if it does not detect movement within 20 seconds. The first night I hooked it up was the first night of restful sleep I had experienced since Grayson was born. It was then that God planted a thought in my heart that when I was done with the monitor, I wanted it to go to a mom like me who needed some peace of mind and a little rest. Fast forward a few months. I am done with the monitor now, those weeks of anxiety have now passed. I still have the thought that I want my beloved monitor to go to someone who really needs it, but I am just not sure what to do with it. I eventually just list it on Craig's List. I got the phone call today from the mom. Through the course of the short conversation I had with her, I came to find out she has just lost her 2 year old to an apparent SIDS type of death. She has a baby too, and just can't relax at night and is fearful something will happen to him. God sees her, just like He saw me. He put the two of us together. I gave her the monitor as a gift from me. As a gift from Him. God is alive, he is moving every day. Every day a million little miracles are unfolding all around us. It is up to us to stop and listen. He isn't in the fire or the wind. He speaks in the still, small whispers within your heart. I confess, I don't always hear it. I am too inundated with noise and activity to hear Him speaking to me. But this time, I did. I knew he would move, and He proved himself faithful. Once again...faithful.