Sunday, June 16, 2013

On Father's Day

A couple of summers ago, my dad went through a very serious illness. There were many things that I learned during that time, but one of the most important was how very much my parents love each other, and how blessed I am to have them (and the example of their relationship) in my life. They are two halves of the same whole, and I cannot imagine one without the other. My whole life I have watched them argue at times, yes, (particularly during family vacations) but there have been more times I saw them laugh and tease each other, or kiss and hug in the kitchen. I remember watching my mom take care of my dad during the time he was so sick, and I remember wondering if I could be that strong. Would I have it in me to love that much for that long? Could I do what she did if it came to that?

A couple of weeks ago I had a fairly major surgery. The first night I was in the hospital, I was scared and in a lot of pain. I had a realization that night. The realization was this: I love my parents. I love them more than I can even express. But my parents were not who I wanted in that room with me that night. I wanted my husband, my Dave. It was then that I realized that our love, although it has not endured as long as my parents, is similar in that we are one. I cannot imagine my life without him. In my worst moments, and in my best ones too, he is who I want with me. There is so much we have been through together in the almost 15 years we have been together. And, I am sure there are many more triumphs and heartaches to come. When I think of every memory in my adult years, he is there. He knows me probably better than anyone, and loves me anyway.

I didn't know what a good dad I picked when I said "yes" to the question he proposed to me so many years ago. I didn't know I would have someone to worry with me in the middle of the night over fevers, or someone to wait in the emergency room while the doctor put the cast on. I didn't know watching him teach our son to ride his bike without training wheels would make me fall in love with him all over again. I didn't know my love for my children could be matched exactly, and that there would be one who would share in every lofty dream dreamt for our boys. I didn't know any of this, and I am so glad it's true. He is the best dad I could have ever picked for my sweet boys.

I don't know what the future holds, but I do know who I want next to me through every uncertainty, every decision, every bend in the road. And if, at the end of this, it is I who is taking care of him, making sure he has what he needs and is comfortable in his sickness, I know I could do it. I love him that much. So, this Father's Day, I wanted to remind him how much he means to me and how much I love him. I am so glad I am walking this journey with you, in sickness and health...for richer or poorer...for as long as we both shall live.  I love you.

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