There's not just one word to describe how I have been feeling lately. A few that pop into my mind are depressed, overwhelmed, angry, annoyed, stressed-out, ungrateful, self-asborbed, tired. Now that's a lovely little combination, wouldn't you say?
I'm not sure where it all started. At first glance of my recent schedule, you might say that it started there...with way over-extending myself beyond my capacity. But as I think about the past couple of years, I think my feelings have been a culmination of lots of changes, most of them not so great, and others that were great, but hugely life-changing.
I can't quite say I have ever felt the way I am feeling lately. I am hoping God has a big purpose for it that I can't see right now. I also pray that my family, particularly my boys, will hang in there with me and that their memories of this time in their life will be mercifully forgetful.
I want to be a mama again. Let me say that another way: I want to be a good mama again. One who takes her kids places, does art projects with them bakes with them, takes pictures of the silly things they do...that kind of mom. I feel like I have been on major auto-pilot, just surviving the days since, oh, last January. That's a lot of surviving. Not even sure that surviving is what you would call it.
I know I have lots to be thankful for. Gosh, if I were to try and list all of my blessings, they would take up this entire blog posting and more. But I confess, I haven't felt blessed lately. All I have been able to see is what I don't have, what I can't do, and how I do not measure up.
Enough.
I hope I learn what I need to learn so this can be over quick--like pulling off a band aid.

Remodeling!

We have been remodeling for the past few weeks. We now have all new flooring on our first floor, new kitchen appliances, freshly painted cabinets, and a whole lotta other minor/major changes that we have made. Here is a little montage of the changes (double click to enlarge)

We have yet to do the kitchen countertops and main living area bathroom. Hopefully those changes will be coming soon (right Dad?).

It's beginning to look a lot like...

Christmas!


I like for all my trees to have a theme. This tree is in our main living space and has an organic theme. I did the whole thing for probably under $15. I purchased most of the ornaments last year at the end of the season. Some of the snowflakes I got at the dollar store last year. The branches were free from my yard, and the other things were just things I stuck in from around the house. I like how it turned out. It is dying for some burlap though. Next year there will definitely be a burlap garland!

This is Graham's tree this year. I think it reflects his little personality--bright, energetic, (sort of) happy!

More decorating pics coming soon!