For Today

I look at your little face at age 3 on the screen, preserved for a lifetime to see. And I want to make myself jump through the screen and join you, and live that life for just a few moments. I hear your little voice and I can't believe you were ever that small. I hear it now, talking to your brother downstairs, and it is that of a nine year old boy. When did that happen? And just like that, the video I am watching stops, the battery is dead. Life is that short, we are here for a moment and then gone. The moments of today cease and become the history of yesterday. And I haven't quite figured out how to live in the moment of today. I am always wrapped up in the past, or dreading the future. Meanwhile, around me life is unfolding, and I am not really enjoying it, not really feeling it. I want to. I look at little Grayson, now a year old, and I want to tell him to "STOP!" Stop growing so fast! You are toddling around the house, and soon you will be running. You are speaking your baby gibberish to me, but soon you will be giving me your opinions about all of the things you think are important. We are living our life, doing mundane things like laundry and dishes. Once in awhile something extra-ordinary happens, and we think the ordinary will stop, but it never does. Even though something you have always dreaded happens, life goes on...the sun rises and sets, kids need to be taken care of, bills need to be paid. But, I want to hold my babies closer for a moment, for today. I want to love my family members with all I have, today.