Buckaroo Junction

Sometimes we carry something around so long that it becomes a part of us. Then, when suddenly it leaves, we act as though we have a phantom limb. Even though we should be running, we limp.
I had this experience recently. For the past twelve years I have been struggling with a particular issue. So engrained it has become in me, that I cannot hardly imagine a day without it. This morning, in that place between sleep and wake, God brought to mind something He had recently done for us. Then, I recalled a point I had been at about three weeks ago where I had truly given up on this issue. I would like to say that I had all the right reasons for giving up...that I had fully surrendered to God's will and trusted Him completely. But, my reasons for giving up were less-than righteous. I was just flat-out tired of it. I simply just didn't care that much anymore if it ever changed. Then, something happened that I thought never would. God changed the situation and allowed something to happen that I never dreamed possible. And, I almost missed it. Like Martha, I was busy cooking and cleaning and editing my photos and raising my kids. And I almost missed it. It took the silence of sleep to calm my mind enough to get it. God is SO good, His mercies are new every morning. He is faithful when we are not. How I love my Heavenly Father. So undeserving of His love and Grace I am.