Buckaroo Junction

To my baby boy Graham,
You are my red strokes in a grey world. You are full of so much life and energy, and I admit I have a hard time keeping up. You are laughter and bubbles and discovery and puppies and green grass. You are like the brightest and hottest summer day, with not a cloud in the sky.
It has been a tough go for us lately. You bring out parts of me that I didn't even know were there. Parts I actually wish would be left dormant. I get so angry sometimes, I hate it. I love you so much. Maybe I react to you so much because I know you are so much like me. But you forgive easily and move on (which is also like me), and you wrap your arms around me and say, "I wuv you mama." And through it all, I believe God is using you to make me more like Him. He is burning off what needs to go so He can shine brighter in my life.
What would I do without you? I never want to find out. Without you, there would still be sunshine in my life, but it wouldn't be as strong, I wouldn't feel it on my skin as much. You make me feel every emotion way down deep. I love you so much it hurts, and I pray I am the mama you need me to be. I pray nothing I ever do is a stumbling block to your salvation. I pray you find a relationship with Christ, and walk in His will all the days of your life. I pray that he leads you toward whatever you are supposed to do with that boundless energy you possess. I know He has great things for you.

Looking at this photo, I see so many things that tell me about you. The fading black eye you got when you were climbing up a chair and fell. The chocolate doughnut at the corner of you mouth. The look in your eyes that speaks curiosity and sweetness and so much more.
I love you baby.