Perfection

I have a few quiet moments before heading off to bed.  These moments are rare and they are precious.  I decide to peruse some of the decorating blogs I used to visit daily.  The photos I see are of such beautiful homes.  They are pristine and perfect.  Every pillow is perfectly fluffed.  Every wall color picked to perfection. Even the laundry rooms I see look more like a boutique.


Then I look around my house and want to cry.  The basement carpet is so badly stained I don't even want to have people over anymore.  Despite my best efforts at cleaning and picking up, it looks like someone has ransacked every room.  There are toys scattered.  Schoolbooks piled.  Dishes in the sink (and on the table).  Laundry spewing out of the laundry room. A boutique it is not.


I think when I started my motherhood journey, and later my homeschooling journey, I didn't realize how these decisions would impact every part of my life, even how my house looks (especially how my house looks).  I am someone who loves perfection, particularly in my home.  It is far, far, far from that.  And sometimes (OK, alot of times), it really gets to me.  Having a beautiful, always clean and organized home is something I have had to sacrifice for this lifestyle I have chosen.  There are lots of homeschooling moms out there who will tell you differently.  They will tell you that they have come up with a ten point chore system for every child in the family, and they are able to maintain a perfectly clean and organized home, do school, make delicious and nutritious meals for their family, run a successful and profitable home business, juggle knives that are on fire, stand on their head and sing the national anthem while brushing their teeth, and have their children perform a musical number that would rival the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir.  I am not that homeschooling mom. I live in reality.  There are days I am exhausted (most days) and all I want to do is sleep. My children seem to have a real knack for messing up a room as quickly as I can pick it up.  I often let my toddler watch television just so I can clean the bathroom or do the dishes. I am lazy sometimes, too.  Those dishes in the sink will just have to stay there overnight...I am too tired to deal with them.


I have a few more moments before I head off to dreamland.  Today was our last day of school for the year, and I take a moment to read over the goals I set for our homeschool last fall.  I realize that every single one of them has either been met, exceeded or is very close to being met.  I thumb through Isaac's Language Arts workbook, and look at every line filled in, every page completed.  I take in just how much he learned this year and how far we have come.  And Graham...in so many ways he far exceeded my expectations of him academically.  And best of all, he asked Jesus into his heart this year. That is more important to me than any perfect house you could hand me the keys to.


This messy house will not always be messy.  Maybe someday I can have my perfect house.  For now, there are three precious boys to raise and to love. This life...this one I have... in it's imperfection, it is perfect.