Buckaroo Junction

We had our first open house this afternoon. I spent the entire weekend cleaning like a mad woman. I actually thought that it wouldn't take me that long to get the house ready since it was relatively clean from having to be ready to show it at a moment's notice. Boy, was I wrong! I almost collapsed from sheer exhaustion on Saturday night. I eventually had to just go lay down at like 6:00 because I was too tired to move! I hate being under all this pressure of making the house look perfect all the time (granted, some of this pressure is self-induced!). When I feel the pressure, I turn into this nazi-house-cleaning-psycho lady that I do not want to be. This morning before we left, Isaac was playing in his toy room and putting his stuffed animals into cages because "they were making a mess." Hopefully he will not be in therapy talking about his crazy cleaning mama for the next 25 years.
We spent the day at the Children's Science Center downtown. We had a really fun time. Isaac's favorite part was the IMAX-like theatre that took you on a tour through the solar system...it was really neat and a great reminder of how small our lives really are in comparison with the universe. That God cares about us and our concerns is almost more than I can take in!
We still need your prayers so much. It would be so easy to just give in to the the feelings of hopelessness that I feel sometimes. It takes a lot more work to just stay focused on what needs to be done this day and to concentrate on God's Faithfulness and the belief that he has not forgotten us. I honestly have no idea what will happen June 1 (Dave's last day with Citibank will be May 30). We have sent out tons of resumes to date, but with 80,000 people having lost their jobs last month alone, the competition for a good-paying job is tough. Dave has accepted a position (the position he had before we moved here) in Fargo, but we are still more than open to other possibilities. It is nice to have a safety net though.
I am learning lots about seeking God, not for his answers, but for relationship with Him. As one of my friends recently reminded me, if we abide in Christ, then it is impossible to get out of His will--every thought and action we have will be under His influence (through the Holy Spirit working in us). That is a very liberating thought when it seems like you have about a million tough (and life changing) decisions to make on a weekly basis.