Some Thoughts on Motherhood

It is official. I have become one of those mothers. You know the kind. Maybe you used to be one of those mothers. Or, maybe you had one of those mothers. Maybe you even are one of those mothers right now too.
They were the kind of mothers I would look at in all of my self-inflated college "coolness" about 10 or 12 years ago and roll my eyes. There they were in the grocery store, or in their mini-van, or at the park. "What do they do all day?" I would secretly think to myself. Buzzing around town in my frenzied state, I would become irritated if a mother in her "mommy-mobile" had the audacity to drive under the speed limit in front of me when I had somewhere very important to go.
I was smack-dab in the middle of the grocery store this morning with my two kids, and all of these thoughts came back to me. There I was, with Graham strapped to me in a snugli, drool dripping from his mouth and down my arm (leaving a huge wet spot on my sleeve) and Isaac in my cart. I was paging through my coupon organizer and wearing the customary "mom uniform" (sweats and tennis shoes). And as I noticed the glances of those around me, it occurred to me that I have been completely consumed by this incredible task of motherhood.
I remember feeling accomplished if I received a great compliment from others on my work with clients. Those same feelings of accomplishment would follow me confidently into my staff meetings, looking what I felt was pretty polished, to discuss things I felt pretty knowledgeable about. Now, my feelings of accomplishment come from using twelve dollar's worth of coupons at the grocery store, pulling through the day without baby puke somewhere on my person, and hearing Isaac say, "you look pretty mama" when I have just rolled out of bed in the morning. The successes are less clear and less frequent. What keeps me going are those nano-second glimpses I get of my children that tell me they are going to be OK. Not only OK, but uniquely suited for infinite plans God has for their lives.
So, I am alright with this. I may not be perfectly polished, but I have a four year old that thinks I am pretty. I may not always be confident, but I have a Heavenly Father that has armed me with his Word and the privilege of having two beautiful boys that have hailed me as the Queen of their world (and one big boy too!). I may not be accomplished, but my heart is filled to overflowing when Graham looks up at me and smiles that smile that is just for his mama. And I can honestly say, I love my life as one of those mothers.